Have Two Year Old, Will Travel...?!

We've been on vacation for the last few days. Of course a road trip is full of stops and go's. We had our share of standard meltdowns because she wanted to get out of the car, needed a nap, etc. We've also had a lot of fun pit stops, including a couple family reunions, trips to the LDS temples down here in Utah, lots of swimming, trip to the zoo, a horse-drawn carriage ride, and more.

However, we've also had some SERIOUS button pushing going on. For example, why would my daughter decide to put her chewed up food in my ear at dinner one evening?! I bent her over and spanked her butt right in front of the waitress (that was after not listening, running around, and other 'bad' behavior). Oh, and the time she threw my shoes and my towel (on two different occasions) in the pool even though I saw her walking toward the pool with them and told her the whole way to stop and not to throw them in. That earned her a 'bummer' (timeout) right there at the pool. Then there's the issue of getting her to hold our hand in the parking lot/crossing the street. Oh, and all the pinching and hitting that mostly seems to come my way...even though I 'bummer' her on it all the time.

I know it's part of her job description to throw fits and for the most part I just let her throw herself on the ground and don't give her a big reaction. But why do it when all we're trying to do is get on the elevator? She's making everyone wait and then when I try to get her, she runs away and we miss our ride to the lobby. I'm not exactly in the best shape to be chasing.

Did I mention she doesn't listen at all? I understand that's part of the two year old deal, but it really bothers me when she won't even listen when it comes to dangerous stuff like running into the parking lot or playing with outlets. How am I supposed to teach this girl without letting her get hit by a car (going very slowly) or electrocuted (haven't figured out how to make that one 'less' dangerous)? I know there's a way because many two year olds have graduated on to become three year olds and even happy four year olds. Ideas?

To me, the key is her putting the chewed-up food in my ear: it's about pushing boundaries, discovering what's acceptable and what's not. BUT. Come one. In my ear? Is it because we're traveling? Is it the sunshine and heat that she's never experienced before? Oy vey.