Teen Mom

I recently started watching the show 'Teen Mom' on MTV and it makes me so appreciative of the choices I made, mostly as a result of the gospel in my life. Being a new mom, I know how hard it is and I cannot imagine going through all that and dealing with the additional challenges of being a teen without an education, an unstable relationship (or non-relationship), and/or unsupportive family. As one girl tried to find the options she had just to get her high school diploma, she realized her options were almost 0 and she'd have to get her GED; she started crying and said 'It's my fault, I screwed up my own life.' It would be so hard for me to feel the most amount of love for my child knowing that 'I screwed up my own life.'

These girls are trying to balance still being a teen, money issues, raising their child, and more. It makes me soooo grateful that I had the gospel in my life and that I knew the purpose of the higher laws and standards.

Sick FC

All of us Harringtons have a yucky cold. It's no fun, but it could be worse. Doug got sick on Christmas was Eve and just didn't feel like doing anything. He got better as Christmas Day went on, but still wasn't 100%. The day after Christmas I started getting sick and Vivienne started coughing a little. I sure hope it doesn't turn into anything more than a sniffle.

Christmas with a child is so special! Even though she's only 8 months old, Vivienne had fun opening presents and playing with her new toys (and I'm going to have lots of fun with all her new clothes!). Our Christmas was a modest and humble one, but I was perfectly ok with that. The circumstances that the Savior was born into were also modest and humble and when I'm not focused on all the fluff, I found it easier to concentrate on others this time of year.

Tomorrow is also Doug's and my 4-year anniversary! It feels longer and shorter, but I couldn't be happier. We have an incredibly blessed marriage and family. I can't wait to see what the New Year brings!

American child-raising

I recently read an article written by an American woman who moved to France where she raised her children. Over time she realized that there are some fundamental differences in the way the French and 'Anglo Saxons' raise their children. I think the best way to explain it was how she described her French neighbors living room: it was an adult room and the children were expected to respect it. That sentiment was present in all aspects of childraising.

In France, children are expected to conform to the lives of the adults and instead of the other way around. She says French children go to bed no later than 8pm so they can 'kiss', which is how one French mom explained it to her daughter. Anglo Saxons bend over backwards for their children and try to give them everything they ever wanted. They also keep them home 'safe and protected' instead of going on pre-school overnight trips to Britain, sheltering them from life experiences, which the French have no problem giving them at age 3.

As I thought about this comparison, I realized the way Americans raise their children probably has a lot to do with some pretty major behavior issues we encounter. Obviously this is a gross generalization, but there is a culture of parents' lives rotating around the lives of their children instead of the other way around. No wonder many young adults today expect the same as they go to college and enter the real world. They are used to their parents bending over backwards for them and don't realize that their bosses don't care how smart they think they are. This article definitely changed how I think about raising Vivienne...

Bless the refreshments?

We just got back from the wonderful Christmas program at which the First Presidency of the church spoke at. The music was beautiful and the words brought peace. The Presidency focused a lot on the true meaning of Christmas and encouraged us not to get stressed out by things we feel like we have to do (or buy), but to focus our thoughts and actions on the babe born in Bethlehem. As they spoke, I thought about my own baby and how much more important Christmas is to me and how much more important the Savior's life and death is to me. It means more to me because it saves Vivienne, too. That baby in the manger made it so my baby in her crib could return to her Heavenly Father.

That's not what I originally planned to write about, but it feels good to write. Anyway, at the end of the program (any program) there was a closing prayer in which the prayer was asked to bless the refreshments. This is one Mormon tradition I just don't understand. How can we, in all seriousness and good conscious, bless the brownie cakes we're about to partake to 'strengthen and nourish' us? Any time there's refreshements, whether they be cookies, cake, brownies, jello with fruit, etc., they have to blessed to be for our betterment. I'm sorry, but there is no nutritional value in those scrumptious treats no matter how many times you pray for it. This is a tradition that makes me uncomfortable, too, because I feel disengenuous when I ask for refreshments to be blessed, but I feel pressure that that's what's expected. Let's just bless the refreshments this way: "please bless the refreshments that the calories won't get straight to my thighs."

First time

Today I got pulled over for the first time. He pulled me over for going '5-6 miles' over the speed limit in the 70 and 60 zones. Once he said why he pulled me over, I was not even upset. Seriously, 5 miles over the speed limit?! I have no problem with me getting pulled over for that because that's just ridiculous. He didn't give me a ticket (not even for not having my new tabs on, but he said I was up to date, so I just needed to go home and find them) and he was very nice.

I think what happened on Sunday with those 4 officers in Lakewood being murdered made me ok with being pulled over. I very much appreciated this State Trooper and his kindness to me, even though he pulled me over for going 5 over the speed limit. I wish I had taken that opportunity to express my gratitude for his service.

Dirty Dishes

I hate dirty dishes. I hate them when they're on my counter and when they're in my sink. And, the bigger problem, I hate washing them. When I was growing up, we used to complain about loading the dishwasher; never again will I complain about loading the dishwasher. I hated doing the dishes then and I hate it more now. I'd give my 1-bedroom kingdom for a dishwasher.

I love having a clean kitchen, so I think I hate what the pile of dirty dishes represents: I'm too busy, tired, lazy, etc. to wash them. Between commuting 2 hours per day, working full time, taking care of my sweet Vivienne, trying to work out transportation with one car, and supporting Doug in whatever way I can...I just don't have the time, energy, or desire to clean those bloody dishes. Doug helps sometimes, but a pile of dirty dishes doesn't irk him like it does me, so I'm the one who buckles under the weight of the yuckiness in the sink.

Ugh. If we had enough money, I'd rather just throw out the dirty dishes and pull out clean ones for each new meal. Or just get a dishwasher.

Best of times, not the worst of times

The first 3.5 months of Vivienne's life have been the best times of my life-I never thought I'd get so excited about a little smile-and not quite the worst. While every parent gets (understandably) frustrated and irritated, I found that my biggest concern about being a mom is not as big a problem as I thought.

I was so afraid of how I would handle a crying baby on a lack of sleep, I've never been the most patient person. But, with Vivienne I have found the Lord has increased my heart and allowed me to have greater love and patience for her than I ever thought I could. The lack of sleep has brought be to tears on occasion and have gotten extremely upset at the explosive poopie that ruined her cutest outfit while we were on a trip (twice). However, I have found that being a loving parent has been the best way for me to 'put away my natural man'. The best I received is that this new, little person doesn't know what they're doing-they don't do 'bad' things on purpose. This is the only time in her eternal life that she will be an infant in this body and it is my job to try to let her enjoy it.

Motherhood

As I sit and watch the Anne Curry interview with the mother who recently added octuplets to her brood of 6 (that's a grand total of 14 kids for you math whizzes and people living in caves), I feel my first baby move inside me. I am struck by how much this mother seems to love her children and can understand the fact that she wanted children, even many children.

When people find out I'm Mormon, many times their first question is "So how many kids are you going to have?" I'm not sure why people think it's ok to ask this question because I'm LDS. To sidestep the impropriety of discussing my reproductive plans with strangers, I ususally tell them I want to field an entire soccer teams...substitutes are optional.

While I don't know exactly how many kids we'll have in the future (I am focusing on the first one right now), I am grateful for the counsel of the general authorities of the church. Parents have been counseled not to have more children than they can financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually care for. This decision is between husband, wife, and the Lord. I don't feel pressure because I know as long as I heed the Lord, everything will be fine.

Hearing this woman's story also makes me incredibly grateful for the structure of the family unit the Lord set in place before the world was created. While every family has challenges, the family unit headed by a married mother and father is the best way to meet these challenges and give children the best opportunity to thrive in this world and learn what they need for the next life.

I don't judge this mother's love for her children, but I do question her judgement. As much as people rail on her for being irresponsible (there may be a level of that), I know there are far worse parents in the world and far worse situations for children to come into this world. I just hope she can keep her sanity...