The Real Talent of LDS Women

As promised in my previous post, I am here to reveal what really keeps Mormon housewives busy. In this article (discussed in the previous post), I am left with the impression that the author and her friends think the majority of time in Mormon housewife's day is spent on herself and her family, doing things like upholstering her furniture, searching the stores for bargain deals, making her own designer-quality clothes, scrapbooking, and other crafty things. I do not know these women, but I know the culture of the Mormon woman and so I think I know what fills much our time: service.

Part of the misconception comes from the fact that we, as Mormon women, don't talk about all the service we do...as we shouldn't. We do what we do because we love, we have compassion, and we want to bring relief to others. We make dinners for family's going through a rough time or who just had a baby. We give rides to people who have no transportation. We lend a much needed ear to friends who just need to talk. We build hygiene kits, make blankets, and serve countless hours in our church callings (teaching Sunday School, sending emails, organizing the troops, etc).

Even when we are not outwardly serving, we consider what we do inside the home service, as well. Every time I make my husband and baby a homecooked meal that took more than 15 minutes to prepare, I look at that as service. When I fold and put everyone's laundry away, I see service. Why do I classify that as service? Because I do it because I love my family. Not because I particularly enjoy, but I do not (usually) grumble about it either. Maybe it's because for a while we lived in a way where I did not have the time to do these things but wanted to be able to do them, and I see it as one more way to express my love for my family. Any time we go to the temple, for our ancestors or others', we are serving.

Service is the expression of love and compassion we have for others and, as a group, I know no other group of women so dedicated to this mission. My days are not spent in a food shelter nor do most full-time mommies, but I also know that if I were ever to need ANYTHING, I could call on the good sisters of my ward. The hearts of the Mormon housewife (and most LDS women) are willing to help when and however they are able to. I'm afraid the Mormon housewife blogs make it seem we are totally focused on ourselves, when, really, we spend so much time on others (even if it's just our family).

Of course, I cannot speak for every LDS woman, but this is true for every active LDS woman I have met. Sure, many young mothers are not able to drop everything in the middle of the day to help someone move, but they will find a way to help in a different way if they can. We don't brag about all we do as a group or individually, but in and effort to combat the opinion that all Mormon housewives do is about improving their own situations, I wanted to point that much of our day is filled with service. Anyone who knows and LDS knows that there are few groups more organized, more willing, and more able to help because we believe that when we are in the service of our fellow man, we are in the service of our God.

Ladies, 'Just Do...You.'

I was fascinated by this article about a late twenty-something atheist woman with no children who is obsessed with reading Mormon housewife blogs. And, apparently, she is not the only non-Mormon who loves reading these 'uplifting' accounts of LDS homemaker/mommy-hood since many of her friends enjoy the 'escapism' of doting on your children, making bread of scratch, redecorating your house, spending the day making amazing discoveries in your family history, etc. These non-Mormon women like to temporarily escape from the pessimism of the world they live in. You know, the world with: divorce, high-pressure jobs, less-than-ideal living circumstances, staying together just for the kids, constantly worrying about the chemicals in your kids' food, money issues, love handles/saddle bags, etc.

Oh, wait. That's the same world Mormon housewives live in...right?

Threes

THEY say when it rains, it poors. THEY also say things come in threes. Why can't good things come in threes...why is always bad things?

This week was a really crappy week. Part of it was because I'm all hormotional (my word for hormonal and emotional). Partly because Vivi slept really poorly at the beginning of the week because of her stuffy nose (ie 5 hours of sleep one night and 4 hours of sleep the next). Partly because I got a speeding a ticket. Partly because we got Vivi's emergency room visit bill in the mail. Partly because our laptop is pooping out and we a) might need a new one, which we can't afford and b) meant I couldn't get done some of the very necessary things I needed to do (like edit Doug's BYU application essay and finish my work for the work). And partly because Vivi was super clingy, super needy all week, which wore my patience very thin.

At the worst point of the week I was beginning to rethink our decision to become parents. I wasn't feeling well and finally managed to doze off for a nap...when I awoke to find Vivi with Sharpie in hand. She scribbled all over her sheets, our sheets, my duvet cover, and her new shirt. All I wanted to do was just lay there and even that has now been denied me. I was raging. And good moms shouldn't rage, right? I mean, really it's not that big of a deal. And neither is the fact that both times we came home from work this week, Vivi smelled like coffee because she spilled someone's (cold) coffee all over her. But it still psissed me off. And good moms should get pissed, or rage, or scream at their toddlers right? My only conclusion was that I was not cut out to be a mom.

After a good day on Saturday, where I got to take a nap while Doug took Vivi to the park, I began to realize that I was just having a bad week. A really bad week. And moms are allowed to have bad weeks. It was a blessing to realize that Vivi doesn't just have me; she has her loving father (who she adores) to play with, wrestle, and 'put to night night.' I am so lucky.

I hope this week is better than last week. I still need to mail in my ticket and we need to pay our bills, but we are blessed. I am going to try to spend a little more time focusing on that than all the things I didn't get accomplished because Vivi wouldn't let go of my leg or all the clothes she permanently marked. Still, it helps to get a good night's sleep as we try to save the world...doesn't it moms :)

Speeding Ticket

Today I got my first speeding ticket. Ever.

Lame.

We had a wonderful Christmas and, dare I say, even better New Year's weekend. It was great to see family and celebrate everything that's important. This past weekend (New Year's) we went to bed early and slept great...two nights in a row.

Unfortunately, the next two days have been crappy. Sick baby means not very much sleep for me anyway, but it's also very cold in our basement apartment, which means I was more willing to keep her in bed next to me (her blankets rarely stay on her). So, she was cranky, super clingy, I got a ticket, I broke a glass, I am tired, and I am cranky...very short-tempered with her, in fact. In fact, she learned a new word yesterday: cranky.

I too tired to come up with some analogy between my speeding ticket and speeding through life, so I'll leave that up to you. But, there is a lot of stuff going on with Doug applying to grad school, jobs, and more. I've been a little blue despite the beautiful (and cold) weather we've been having...I was actually happy to see the gray clouds today. So, I wrote a little poem about clouds :) (I love writing and may be a closet poet, that's not very good). Here it is:

Today the clouds rolled in
And it was a relief.
They chased away the cold,
Enveloped me with their warmth.
The harsh sunlight was dimmed
And let me see the darker beauty of the garden.
The soft waves of rain soothed my tired mind
Temporarily washing away my inner angst
And welcomed my winter feelings.

Don't laugh, but it made me feel better to be a little creative.