Today I realized (one of) the hardest parts about being a mom: you can't quit. You don't get to just walk out and take a break. The 'boss' that won't get off your back is a two year old and you can't just walk away from them. You can do everything in your power to try to make them happy, but at the end of the day, that temperamental little creature will probably still try to smack you in the face and you can't hit them back.
If this were a 'regular' job, today I would've demanded a raise, taken a mental health day, and/or quit. Instead, I had to clean up several messes, make several messes to be cleaned up tomorrow (because I'm not doing it tonight), make dinner, give her a shower that she refused to take, and put her in 4 'bummers' (timeouts) in 20 minutes for things like dumping her milk on the floor, hitting me, putting the hot pads in the garbage after I told her not to, etc.
At one point I sat in the bathroom with my swollen hands and feet, silently cursed the fact that I hate moving because of my huge 8 month pregnancy belly, can't deal with being a mom anymore, and gave up. I jealously thought of how my husband gets to leave every day to a job where he helps people...and gets paid to do it. I emotionally quit. I started yelling at her, threatening her with spankings and bed time, and cried. Mercifully, bedtime went relatively smoothly, but I am exhausted.
I know all moms think this stuff and have their days. I think today was so hard because I've had a lot of searing back pain, a SUPER long weekend (weddings, Seattle to Portland bike ride, driving about 400 miles, etc), and a very tired/opinionated two year old who broke eggs in the grocery store, then started hitting me, won't listen to me worth crap, and won't go play by herself and give me a frickin break. I just want to nest for the new baby in peace and all I managed to do today was go grocery shopping, clean the kitchen up in time to get it dirty for dinner, and start on organizing Doug's shoes (totally different story).
Finally, after she went to bed, I sat down and read my scriptures and this verse stuck out to me: "And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him." (Luke 22:43). I know the Lord loves me and will strengthen me. And I really hope he sends me an angel...I could use it.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Have Two Year Old, Will Travel...?!
We've been on vacation for the last few days. Of course a road trip is full of stops and go's. We had our share of standard meltdowns because she wanted to get out of the car, needed a nap, etc. We've also had a lot of fun pit stops, including a couple family reunions, trips to the LDS temples down here in Utah, lots of swimming, trip to the zoo, a horse-drawn carriage ride, and more.
However, we've also had some SERIOUS button pushing going on. For example, why would my daughter decide to put her chewed up food in my ear at dinner one evening?! I bent her over and spanked her butt right in front of the waitress (that was after not listening, running around, and other 'bad' behavior). Oh, and the time she threw my shoes and my towel (on two different occasions) in the pool even though I saw her walking toward the pool with them and told her the whole way to stop and not to throw them in. That earned her a 'bummer' (timeout) right there at the pool. Then there's the issue of getting her to hold our hand in the parking lot/crossing the street. Oh, and all the pinching and hitting that mostly seems to come my way...even though I 'bummer' her on it all the time.
I know it's part of her job description to throw fits and for the most part I just let her throw herself on the ground and don't give her a big reaction. But why do it when all we're trying to do is get on the elevator? She's making everyone wait and then when I try to get her, she runs away and we miss our ride to the lobby. I'm not exactly in the best shape to be chasing.
Did I mention she doesn't listen at all? I understand that's part of the two year old deal, but it really bothers me when she won't even listen when it comes to dangerous stuff like running into the parking lot or playing with outlets. How am I supposed to teach this girl without letting her get hit by a car (going very slowly) or electrocuted (haven't figured out how to make that one 'less' dangerous)? I know there's a way because many two year olds have graduated on to become three year olds and even happy four year olds. Ideas?
To me, the key is her putting the chewed-up food in my ear: it's about pushing boundaries, discovering what's acceptable and what's not. BUT. Come one. In my ear? Is it because we're traveling? Is it the sunshine and heat that she's never experienced before? Oy vey.
However, we've also had some SERIOUS button pushing going on. For example, why would my daughter decide to put her chewed up food in my ear at dinner one evening?! I bent her over and spanked her butt right in front of the waitress (that was after not listening, running around, and other 'bad' behavior). Oh, and the time she threw my shoes and my towel (on two different occasions) in the pool even though I saw her walking toward the pool with them and told her the whole way to stop and not to throw them in. That earned her a 'bummer' (timeout) right there at the pool. Then there's the issue of getting her to hold our hand in the parking lot/crossing the street. Oh, and all the pinching and hitting that mostly seems to come my way...even though I 'bummer' her on it all the time.
I know it's part of her job description to throw fits and for the most part I just let her throw herself on the ground and don't give her a big reaction. But why do it when all we're trying to do is get on the elevator? She's making everyone wait and then when I try to get her, she runs away and we miss our ride to the lobby. I'm not exactly in the best shape to be chasing.
Did I mention she doesn't listen at all? I understand that's part of the two year old deal, but it really bothers me when she won't even listen when it comes to dangerous stuff like running into the parking lot or playing with outlets. How am I supposed to teach this girl without letting her get hit by a car (going very slowly) or electrocuted (haven't figured out how to make that one 'less' dangerous)? I know there's a way because many two year olds have graduated on to become three year olds and even happy four year olds. Ideas?
To me, the key is her putting the chewed-up food in my ear: it's about pushing boundaries, discovering what's acceptable and what's not. BUT. Come one. In my ear? Is it because we're traveling? Is it the sunshine and heat that she's never experienced before? Oy vey.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Dearest Baby Boy
A letter from mummy to baby boy Harrington due to be born Aug. 9.
Dearest Baby Boy Harrington,
You should be here in about two months and I am so excited to meet you. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I have to remind myself that I am excited to meet you and that you will bless my life with even more love than I already have. You will only be in my tummy for two more months (actually waaay longer than it sounds) and I just took my first 'belly' picture of you today. I think by this time with your sister, I'd had at least 2-3 pictures taken. It's not that I love you any less than your sister, it's just that...well, I'm fatter. Apparently, you only weigh four pounds and are the size of a large jicama (whatever that is); I've put on more than 30 pounds and my previously stretched abdominal muscles are letting you have your space. Not exactly something I want to remember forever. Besides, it's when you get here that all the important pictures will be taken.
Honestly, my precious baby boy, being pregnant the second time is not as fun as it was the first time. It's not your fault at all, and, so, I'm trying to be positive about it. But: my pelvis hurts a lot more and earlier than it did last time, which means mummy has been walking with a waddle the last several weeks; getting out of bed is physical test and, many times, very painful. I actually had to buy some Tums for heartburn a couple weeks ago (which I have only taken once, so you must have gotten the hint). My back pain has gotten better, but it's still more sore than it was with Vivienne. Not to mention I will have to spend most of the summer larger (and larger and larger) and not in charge seeing as you have a very bossy sister. Oh, and yesterday I got the worst charlie horse I ever had! I had to scream for your dad to come in from the bathroom so he could do SOMETHING (the little massage he gave worked). Again, totally not your fault, but I don't get charlie horses unless I'm pregnant.
That's the other major difference. I love feeling you move around knowing that you are sparking with life. But, I don't really get much of chance to just sit and enjoy it much because I'm also chasing your sister or just trying to fall asleep (you tend to get very active whenever I roll over). However, every time I feel you move, I am reassured knowing that you are in there and growing strong. Thank for those frequent reminders (seeing as it seems like you are ALWAYS moving).
I try not to complain and today I was reminded that in a tiny way, my sacrifice is similar to that of the sacrifice the Savior made for all of us. Through his physical pain we are all given life. On a much smaller scale, through my physical pain and discomfort I get to give you life. This realization was humbling and made me love you that much more. I don't know what we'll name you yet, but I know that you are mine and I love you more than you can understand. Your father and sister are also very excited to meet you. Your father wants me to tell you to enjoy the time you have left in heaven; learn as much as you can from your loving Father in Heaven and Christ. Bring that spirit here with you like your sister did. You have a loving family waiting here for you when you decide to make your appearance.
I'm tired of wondering what life will be like when you get here, how Vivienne will react to you actually being here (and taking her spot in our bed), what it will be like to have boy, and more! Get here as soon as you can, while still being as healthy and strong as possible. We are taking very seriously the responsibility we have to raise you up the right way, to prepare you for a mission, to be a good man, put your sister in her place, and more. We know we will have so much fun, too! I love you. See you sooner than I'm probably prepared for, but not soon enough as far as my body is concerned.
Always,
Mum
P.S. if there's anyway you can make the labor to come into this world easy on me (at least relatively painless and as short or shorter than your sister's), you'll get brownie points with me.
Dearest Baby Boy Harrington,
You should be here in about two months and I am so excited to meet you. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I have to remind myself that I am excited to meet you and that you will bless my life with even more love than I already have. You will only be in my tummy for two more months (actually waaay longer than it sounds) and I just took my first 'belly' picture of you today. I think by this time with your sister, I'd had at least 2-3 pictures taken. It's not that I love you any less than your sister, it's just that...well, I'm fatter. Apparently, you only weigh four pounds and are the size of a large jicama (whatever that is); I've put on more than 30 pounds and my previously stretched abdominal muscles are letting you have your space. Not exactly something I want to remember forever. Besides, it's when you get here that all the important pictures will be taken.
 |
| About 32 weeks; don't look at my head. |
That's the other major difference. I love feeling you move around knowing that you are sparking with life. But, I don't really get much of chance to just sit and enjoy it much because I'm also chasing your sister or just trying to fall asleep (you tend to get very active whenever I roll over). However, every time I feel you move, I am reassured knowing that you are in there and growing strong. Thank for those frequent reminders (seeing as it seems like you are ALWAYS moving).
I try not to complain and today I was reminded that in a tiny way, my sacrifice is similar to that of the sacrifice the Savior made for all of us. Through his physical pain we are all given life. On a much smaller scale, through my physical pain and discomfort I get to give you life. This realization was humbling and made me love you that much more. I don't know what we'll name you yet, but I know that you are mine and I love you more than you can understand. Your father and sister are also very excited to meet you. Your father wants me to tell you to enjoy the time you have left in heaven; learn as much as you can from your loving Father in Heaven and Christ. Bring that spirit here with you like your sister did. You have a loving family waiting here for you when you decide to make your appearance.
I'm tired of wondering what life will be like when you get here, how Vivienne will react to you actually being here (and taking her spot in our bed), what it will be like to have boy, and more! Get here as soon as you can, while still being as healthy and strong as possible. We are taking very seriously the responsibility we have to raise you up the right way, to prepare you for a mission, to be a good man, put your sister in her place, and more. We know we will have so much fun, too! I love you. See you sooner than I'm probably prepared for, but not soon enough as far as my body is concerned.
Always,
Mum
P.S. if there's anyway you can make the labor to come into this world easy on me (at least relatively painless and as short or shorter than your sister's), you'll get brownie points with me.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
"...With My Face Towards Zion."
Today at church we had a wonderful lesson on hope based on a talk entitled "Hope" given by one of the LDS General Authorities (click the title of the talk to see the whole thing, which I recommend).
The teacher of the class opened by asking "What is the difference between 'faith' and 'hope'?" This question really made me think. This afternoon I went back and read the entire talk and found this statement to be the most helpful explanation: "faith is rooted in Jesus Christ. Hope centers in the Atonement. Charity is manifest in the 'pure love of Christ.'" To me it boils down to this: we have faith in what is, we hope in what can be.
The talk also mentions the story of a 73 year old Scottish woman who made the trek across the country to try to gather with the Saints in the Salt Lake Valley in 1856. This woman was a part of the ill-fated Martin Handcart company and died in North Dakota, not reaching her destination or family there in Zion. Her last words illustrate the faith and hope that we can all have if we take the steps necessary and head in the right direction...even if we do not reach our goal. She said, "Tell John [her son in SLV] I died with my face toward Zion."
That story struck me. Despite all her suffering and sacrifice, she did not get the result she had worked so hard for or desired, but she did not curse God or ask why. She still had hope, rooted in her faith, and she gave it her all. She died with her looking toward Zion. As I reflected, I realized I can apply that in my daily life. I hope I can achieve all the righteous desires of my heart, but if I take the necessary steps and still don't quite make it, like this pioneer woman, I know that my 'face is towards Zion.' I would like to think that at the end of each day, I can lay my head down with my face toward Zion, even if things don't go perfectly and I don't get everything I want. One of the women in the class added, "This life is not the reward, this life is the test. We can do everything right and wonder where all our blessings are, but we need to remember that they may not come in this life because we are here to be tested. The rewards may not come until later."
This whole idea finished a thought that had occurred to me as I reflected on an unfortunate situation I find myself in. I worked very hard and got great results for many years on some stuff, but at the end of it things did not end quite as well or positively as I would have liked. It may in fact, negatively impact my future. But when I realized that I didn't do anything wrong or anything to regret, I knew the Lord would take care of me. I may not get the results that I originally desired, but knowing that I truly did the best I could and hoping for good things in the future, my face is towards Zion and I can be happy about it.
Elder Snow had a great quote about hope and hopes, "Hope can inspire dreams and spur us to realize those dreams. Hope alone, however, does not cause us to succeed. Many honorable hopes have gone unfulfilled, shipwrecked on the reefs of good intentions and laziness." LOVE that. How many unfinished projects or aspirations do we have that we have not achieved just because we didn't do it?! That really motivated me to stick with some projects that I have been tempted to abandon on the 'reefs of good intentions and laziness.'
Anyway, I'm not normally so preachy, but I was really inspired by this, so I thought I'd share.
The teacher of the class opened by asking "What is the difference between 'faith' and 'hope'?" This question really made me think. This afternoon I went back and read the entire talk and found this statement to be the most helpful explanation: "faith is rooted in Jesus Christ. Hope centers in the Atonement. Charity is manifest in the 'pure love of Christ.'" To me it boils down to this: we have faith in what is, we hope in what can be.
The talk also mentions the story of a 73 year old Scottish woman who made the trek across the country to try to gather with the Saints in the Salt Lake Valley in 1856. This woman was a part of the ill-fated Martin Handcart company and died in North Dakota, not reaching her destination or family there in Zion. Her last words illustrate the faith and hope that we can all have if we take the steps necessary and head in the right direction...even if we do not reach our goal. She said, "Tell John [her son in SLV] I died with my face toward Zion."
That story struck me. Despite all her suffering and sacrifice, she did not get the result she had worked so hard for or desired, but she did not curse God or ask why. She still had hope, rooted in her faith, and she gave it her all. She died with her looking toward Zion. As I reflected, I realized I can apply that in my daily life. I hope I can achieve all the righteous desires of my heart, but if I take the necessary steps and still don't quite make it, like this pioneer woman, I know that my 'face is towards Zion.' I would like to think that at the end of each day, I can lay my head down with my face toward Zion, even if things don't go perfectly and I don't get everything I want. One of the women in the class added, "This life is not the reward, this life is the test. We can do everything right and wonder where all our blessings are, but we need to remember that they may not come in this life because we are here to be tested. The rewards may not come until later."
This whole idea finished a thought that had occurred to me as I reflected on an unfortunate situation I find myself in. I worked very hard and got great results for many years on some stuff, but at the end of it things did not end quite as well or positively as I would have liked. It may in fact, negatively impact my future. But when I realized that I didn't do anything wrong or anything to regret, I knew the Lord would take care of me. I may not get the results that I originally desired, but knowing that I truly did the best I could and hoping for good things in the future, my face is towards Zion and I can be happy about it.
Elder Snow had a great quote about hope and hopes, "Hope can inspire dreams and spur us to realize those dreams. Hope alone, however, does not cause us to succeed. Many honorable hopes have gone unfulfilled, shipwrecked on the reefs of good intentions and laziness." LOVE that. How many unfinished projects or aspirations do we have that we have not achieved just because we didn't do it?! That really motivated me to stick with some projects that I have been tempted to abandon on the 'reefs of good intentions and laziness.'
Anyway, I'm not normally so preachy, but I was really inspired by this, so I thought I'd share.
Friday, June 3, 2011
I Love/Hate This Age...
And by this age I mean her two-year old state of being. This thought occurred to me while we were on our trip to Leavenworth. It was the end of a long day/night and she was starting to get cranky as we walked to the fish ladder/nature trail. She lagged behind and started to get fussy (you all know what that sounds like), so I asked her, "Don't you want to see the fish ladder?!" with lots of over-the-top enthusiasm.
Her face lit up and she started running immediately while yelling "Yeaaaaaaaah!!" Mission accomplished.
She has no idea what a fish ladder is and, in fact, there are no fish running at this time of year, but she got so excited about seeing something new and different (encouraged by my over-the-top enthusiasm). She actually did love the fish ladder (despite no fish) because she loves water and she had a great time walking around on the nature trail. The walk back to the car got a little rough, but, again, we were able to make it exciting by turning it into a game (Doug encouraged her to chase him around while he ran in circles towards the car, crawling over chained fences, etc).
Of course there are plenty of things to complain about for this age group, but the fact that Vivienne is so good at communicating, enthusiasm is so infectious, and they are willing to do almost anything if you turn it into a game, can really change a person's mind about it!
Her face lit up and she started running immediately while yelling "Yeaaaaaaaah!!" Mission accomplished.
She has no idea what a fish ladder is and, in fact, there are no fish running at this time of year, but she got so excited about seeing something new and different (encouraged by my over-the-top enthusiasm). She actually did love the fish ladder (despite no fish) because she loves water and she had a great time walking around on the nature trail. The walk back to the car got a little rough, but, again, we were able to make it exciting by turning it into a game (Doug encouraged her to chase him around while he ran in circles towards the car, crawling over chained fences, etc).
Of course there are plenty of things to complain about for this age group, but the fact that Vivienne is so good at communicating, enthusiasm is so infectious, and they are willing to do almost anything if you turn it into a game, can really change a person's mind about it!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sharing a Piece of My Childhood
This weekend was a long Memorial Day weekend and we decided to take advantage of it by going up to Mount Vernon for a picnic with my side of the family on Monday. We also added something that was extra special for me...a visit to Rosario Beach on Whidbey Island on Sunday evening.
My dad (Jerry) used to take my sister and I to Rosario Beach all the time and we loved it! There are great skipping rocks, tide pools, hiking, and it's just beautiful. It holds a special place in my childhood heart. I have so many pictures of me as child here and it's wonderful to start my own collection of pictures with my own daughter. Rosario was also the beach where I took Doug when we were dating and freaked him out because he thought I was putting a crab on his back...really it was just a little tickle, but he screamed anyway. Because Sunday was supposed to be nice, I thought it would be fun to take Vivi to Rosario to see if we could find some crabs of our own...and we did.
The evening was beautiful!
We found lots of little hermit crabs in the tide pools (even though the tide was quite high)! She agreed to hold the crabs after we told them it tickled...and she really thought it tickled.
Doug did a good job of keeping the crabs on her hand, but they also climbed her sleeve, which she said was 'Funny!' As you can see, they weren't very big, but they were fun.
Doug took her further out than I trusted my pregnant body to go, but that's ok because I think I got some treasured shots of this loving father-daughter adventurous duo.
Can you tell she loves her papa? They are really special together and I love to watch their bond and relationship grow.
Hiking up a little trail from the tide pools. My heart stopped a couple times because of that drop-off and knowing how Vivi is prone to just taking off. But, Eagle Scout/Papa Doug did is job in always holding her hand and keeping her on the inside of the trail. Gorgeous view, right?
After an hour-plus at the beach it was time to go to grandma and grandpas for the evening and to stay the night. They got out on the trampoline with her and she loves to 'jump' so she loved every minute!
Vivienne loves to swing almost as much as she does to jump, so she was excited to Nana Anne as a 'swing buddy!' We had such a great time and I love documenting these special moments. I know everyone thinks their child is special, but Vivienne has a spark, love, light, intelligence, and humor that I think truly makes her a special Child of God.
My dad (Jerry) used to take my sister and I to Rosario Beach all the time and we loved it! There are great skipping rocks, tide pools, hiking, and it's just beautiful. It holds a special place in my childhood heart. I have so many pictures of me as child here and it's wonderful to start my own collection of pictures with my own daughter. Rosario was also the beach where I took Doug when we were dating and freaked him out because he thought I was putting a crab on his back...really it was just a little tickle, but he screamed anyway. Because Sunday was supposed to be nice, I thought it would be fun to take Vivi to Rosario to see if we could find some crabs of our own...and we did.
Friday, May 27, 2011
For What it's Leavenworth
Last weekend we had the opportunity to go to Leavenworth for an overnight/day trip and we had a blast! Greatest Aunt Mary, Olivia, Grandma Cathy, Nana Marie, and us stayed in a cabin Saturday night (the others got there Friday) and had a yummy dinner at the 59er Diner and Cabins.
Dinner at the 59er was great. Their shakes were pretty good, although I won't say they were the best I ever had. However, apparently I said 'chocolate' twice when placing my order so they made it extra chocolatey, which Vivi and I both appreciated.
She also quite liked the heap of whip cream and sprinkles. Doug got an Oreo shake and that was pretty good, too.
Dinner consisted of a yummy BBQ burger for me, nachos for Doug and 'Wet' fries for Vivi. It's like 'poutine' for those of you on the East Coast, and for those of you who are not, it's fries with gravy on top...although it could've used the cheese, too. I'm not exaggerating when I say she pretty much ate the whole plate of fries by herself (she let people try one and I had a couple, but that was Vivi's dinner...aren't we great parents?).
Here's Olivia and Vivi...I think Vivi's getting close to fry drunk.
When we got back to the cabin, Vivi was more than happy to be the center of attention. She put on a show for everyone...even if it just meant standing on bucket in the middle of the kitchen while we tried to play Apples to Apples. We thought it was hilarious, so she got her audience.
After a very unsuccessful night's sleep (the cabin had no doors to separate the sleeping areas), we headed into Leavenworth. We were lucky enough to find out about 'Smallwoods' just outside of Leavenworth. This place was great! It had petting farm, little tractor rides, an area for kids to ride little bikes, a maze, etc.
We had so much fun petting all the animals! Doug was very diligent about making sure Vivi's hand was flat as she fed the goats, mini cows, llamas, donkeys, sheep and more!
They had little food dispensers where you could get feed for 25 cents...this one ate our quarter, but we just went inside and got another bag of food for $1. The petting farm also only cost $1 per person to get into. What a great deal!
I think Doug had just as much fun as Vivi.
This bunny was sleeping, so Vivi sat down next to it and told it to wake up. There were ducks and geese and all sorts of other things...
After going into Leavenworth for German lunch, the hat shop and hearing some Bavarian music, we headed out of town but stopped at the fish ladder on our way. There was a good little nature walk. Here, Doug is explaining what a certain bird looks like...
I can't get enough of the pictures of Vivi and Doug holding hands. She was so tired by the time we left for home, but we had such a great little trip...we'll have to do it again!
She also quite liked the heap of whip cream and sprinkles. Doug got an Oreo shake and that was pretty good, too.
Dinner consisted of a yummy BBQ burger for me, nachos for Doug and 'Wet' fries for Vivi. It's like 'poutine' for those of you on the East Coast, and for those of you who are not, it's fries with gravy on top...although it could've used the cheese, too. I'm not exaggerating when I say she pretty much ate the whole plate of fries by herself (she let people try one and I had a couple, but that was Vivi's dinner...aren't we great parents?).Here's Olivia and Vivi...I think Vivi's getting close to fry drunk.
We had so much fun petting all the animals! Doug was very diligent about making sure Vivi's hand was flat as she fed the goats, mini cows, llamas, donkeys, sheep and more!
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