So lately I've been feeling lots of pressure...lots of stress. I've really enjoyed working part-time as Marketing Director, which was a new position at our small YMCA. It allowed me to be creative and challenged me to make this position, find opportunities, and have some leadership again (while still being very flexible). Well, last week I found out that in about 2-3 months I won't have this job anymore. I'm very grateful for the time I've had to do this and understand why this change needs to be made on the side of the organization.
But it has me stressed out. Yes, I will miss the money (but I know God has something in store for us and my husband's confidence is reassuring). Yes, I will miss the people (I've been there for 5 years). Yes, I will miss the opportunities to be challenged and creative...but I do not what another part-time job. This is an opportunity to put all my talents, skills, enthusiasm, and passion into what's most important: my home, my family, and my faith.
The stress comes because I'm not exactly sure HOW to do that. For so long, my passion has been my job. Then when Vivi was born, it was her...but still my job, too. Now, this is it. How do I transfer my work-ethic, skills, and passion from my work to my home? Because I think that is the only way I can be truly satisfied being home full-time.
I know I can be happy staying home full-time...I just have to figure out a way to do it my way. I just have to figure out what that way is.
I know I'm over thinking this and I just need to try some things with Vivi and for myself to see what works. But all of this combined with everything else going on in our lives gets stressful when I let it: new baby; are we going to grad school? Which one? Will this job opportunity work out better than we could've ever hoped (the interview process has been more than a month!)? Where will leave? What can we afford? bla bla bla
I know many of you moms have or have had these same concerns and stresses. I'm trying not to let it get to me. I have a wonderful husband who is so supportive of me and reminds what I need to do: just have faith and trust that we've done everything we could possibly do to ensure a bright future and the God will do the rest.
Monday, February 14, 2011
V-day!
Valentine's Day in our house is a big deal because it's "V-Day" and there just aren't that many holidays (or anything) that start with "V." Ok, really it's only a big deal to me, but I'm hoping it will rub off on the little "V," too. We celebrated with our traditional heart shaped pizza from Papa Murphy's. This is actually a tradition that I love to hate. Our first V-day we were so poor that's all we could afford to do to celebrate. The next V-day, I we decided to draw out of a hat and, wouldn't you know it, the heart shaped pizza won. I was mad because I wanted a real romantic dinner, but it was fate and so we've done it that last 5 years.
This year was really fun, though, because Vivi and I got to eat a yummy breakfast with Doug (not the norm), made heart shaped jello, and just had a great day!
Vivi had lots of fun coloring and eating the jello hearts we made for papa! My life is so full of love! I appreciate today to reflect on all the love I have in my life.
This year was really fun, though, because Vivi and I got to eat a yummy breakfast with Doug (not the norm), made heart shaped jello, and just had a great day!
Vivi had lots of fun coloring and eating the jello hearts we made for papa! My life is so full of love! I appreciate today to reflect on all the love I have in my life.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Tiara's and Princesses
Last night I was flipping through the channels and came across TLC's 'Toddlers and Tiaras' for the first time. I had heard of the show, but never watched it. And now I'm afraid I won't be able to look away from that train wreck. Here are just a couple short clips to familiarize yourself.
I'm sure my reaction was the same as many people. I think the audience of that show can probably break down into 2 groups: the ones who completely understand where these families are coming from and the families who think these parents are CRAZY. I fall into the latter category...for sure. In the first 2 minutes I was watching the show, one mom stated she had 2 girls competing in pageants, which meant if the entry fee was $1,800, she was spending $3,600. Whoa. Then she said she spent $10,000 the couple months on costumes for her girls. What?!
The next scene was a dad spraying tanning his 5 year old...with his paint sprayer...in their bathroom...while the girl was in her bathing suit. That's creepy dad.
I'm sure my reaction was the same as many people. I think the audience of that show can probably break down into 2 groups: the ones who completely understand where these families are coming from and the families who think these parents are CRAZY. I fall into the latter category...for sure. In the first 2 minutes I was watching the show, one mom stated she had 2 girls competing in pageants, which meant if the entry fee was $1,800, she was spending $3,600. Whoa. Then she said she spent $10,000 the couple months on costumes for her girls. What?!
The next scene was a dad spraying tanning his 5 year old...with his paint sprayer...in their bathroom...while the girl was in her bathing suit. That's creepy dad.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
The Real Talent of LDS Women
As promised in my previous post, I am here to reveal what really keeps Mormon housewives busy. In this article (discussed in the previous post), I am left with the impression that the author and her friends think the majority of time in Mormon housewife's day is spent on herself and her family, doing things like upholstering her furniture, searching the stores for bargain deals, making her own designer-quality clothes, scrapbooking, and other crafty things. I do not know these women, but I know the culture of the Mormon woman and so I think I know what fills much our time: service.
Part of the misconception comes from the fact that we, as Mormon women, don't talk about all the service we do...as we shouldn't. We do what we do because we love, we have compassion, and we want to bring relief to others. We make dinners for family's going through a rough time or who just had a baby. We give rides to people who have no transportation. We lend a much needed ear to friends who just need to talk. We build hygiene kits, make blankets, and serve countless hours in our church callings (teaching Sunday School, sending emails, organizing the troops, etc).
Even when we are not outwardly serving, we consider what we do inside the home service, as well. Every time I make my husband and baby a homecooked meal that took more than 15 minutes to prepare, I look at that as service. When I fold and put everyone's laundry away, I see service. Why do I classify that as service? Because I do it because I love my family. Not because I particularly enjoy, but I do not (usually) grumble about it either. Maybe it's because for a while we lived in a way where I did not have the time to do these things but wanted to be able to do them, and I see it as one more way to express my love for my family. Any time we go to the temple, for our ancestors or others', we are serving.
Service is the expression of love and compassion we have for others and, as a group, I know no other group of women so dedicated to this mission. My days are not spent in a food shelter nor do most full-time mommies, but I also know that if I were ever to need ANYTHING, I could call on the good sisters of my ward. The hearts of the Mormon housewife (and most LDS women) are willing to help when and however they are able to. I'm afraid the Mormon housewife blogs make it seem we are totally focused on ourselves, when, really, we spend so much time on others (even if it's just our family).
Of course, I cannot speak for every LDS woman, but this is true for every active LDS woman I have met. Sure, many young mothers are not able to drop everything in the middle of the day to help someone move, but they will find a way to help in a different way if they can. We don't brag about all we do as a group or individually, but in and effort to combat the opinion that all Mormon housewives do is about improving their own situations, I wanted to point that much of our day is filled with service. Anyone who knows and LDS knows that there are few groups more organized, more willing, and more able to help because we believe that when we are in the service of our fellow man, we are in the service of our God.
Part of the misconception comes from the fact that we, as Mormon women, don't talk about all the service we do...as we shouldn't. We do what we do because we love, we have compassion, and we want to bring relief to others. We make dinners for family's going through a rough time or who just had a baby. We give rides to people who have no transportation. We lend a much needed ear to friends who just need to talk. We build hygiene kits, make blankets, and serve countless hours in our church callings (teaching Sunday School, sending emails, organizing the troops, etc).
Even when we are not outwardly serving, we consider what we do inside the home service, as well. Every time I make my husband and baby a homecooked meal that took more than 15 minutes to prepare, I look at that as service. When I fold and put everyone's laundry away, I see service. Why do I classify that as service? Because I do it because I love my family. Not because I particularly enjoy, but I do not (usually) grumble about it either. Maybe it's because for a while we lived in a way where I did not have the time to do these things but wanted to be able to do them, and I see it as one more way to express my love for my family. Any time we go to the temple, for our ancestors or others', we are serving.
Service is the expression of love and compassion we have for others and, as a group, I know no other group of women so dedicated to this mission. My days are not spent in a food shelter nor do most full-time mommies, but I also know that if I were ever to need ANYTHING, I could call on the good sisters of my ward. The hearts of the Mormon housewife (and most LDS women) are willing to help when and however they are able to. I'm afraid the Mormon housewife blogs make it seem we are totally focused on ourselves, when, really, we spend so much time on others (even if it's just our family).
Of course, I cannot speak for every LDS woman, but this is true for every active LDS woman I have met. Sure, many young mothers are not able to drop everything in the middle of the day to help someone move, but they will find a way to help in a different way if they can. We don't brag about all we do as a group or individually, but in and effort to combat the opinion that all Mormon housewives do is about improving their own situations, I wanted to point that much of our day is filled with service. Anyone who knows and LDS knows that there are few groups more organized, more willing, and more able to help because we believe that when we are in the service of our fellow man, we are in the service of our God.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Ladies, 'Just Do...You.'
I was fascinated by this article about a late twenty-something atheist woman with no children who is obsessed with reading Mormon housewife blogs. And, apparently, she is not the only non-Mormon who loves reading these 'uplifting' accounts of LDS homemaker/mommy-hood since many of her friends enjoy the 'escapism' of doting on your children, making bread of scratch, redecorating your house, spending the day making amazing discoveries in your family history, etc. These non-Mormon women like to temporarily escape from the pessimism of the world they live in. You know, the world with: divorce, high-pressure jobs, less-than-ideal living circumstances, staying together just for the kids, constantly worrying about the chemicals in your kids' food, money issues, love handles/saddle bags, etc.
Oh, wait. That's the same world Mormon housewives live in...right?
Oh, wait. That's the same world Mormon housewives live in...right?
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Threes
THEY say when it rains, it poors. THEY also say things come in threes. Why can't good things come in threes...why is always bad things?
This week was a really crappy week. Part of it was because I'm all hormotional (my word for hormonal and emotional). Partly because Vivi slept really poorly at the beginning of the week because of her stuffy nose (ie 5 hours of sleep one night and 4 hours of sleep the next). Partly because I got a speeding a ticket. Partly because we got Vivi's emergency room visit bill in the mail. Partly because our laptop is pooping out and we a) might need a new one, which we can't afford and b) meant I couldn't get done some of the very necessary things I needed to do (like edit Doug's BYU application essay and finish my work for the work). And partly because Vivi was super clingy, super needy all week, which wore my patience very thin.
At the worst point of the week I was beginning to rethink our decision to become parents. I wasn't feeling well and finally managed to doze off for a nap...when I awoke to find Vivi with Sharpie in hand. She scribbled all over her sheets, our sheets, my duvet cover, and her new shirt. All I wanted to do was just lay there and even that has now been denied me. I was raging. And good moms shouldn't rage, right? I mean, really it's not that big of a deal. And neither is the fact that both times we came home from work this week, Vivi smelled like coffee because she spilled someone's (cold) coffee all over her. But it still psissed me off. And good moms should get pissed, or rage, or scream at their toddlers right? My only conclusion was that I was not cut out to be a mom.
After a good day on Saturday, where I got to take a nap while Doug took Vivi to the park, I began to realize that I was just having a bad week. A really bad week. And moms are allowed to have bad weeks. It was a blessing to realize that Vivi doesn't just have me; she has her loving father (who she adores) to play with, wrestle, and 'put to night night.' I am so lucky.
I hope this week is better than last week. I still need to mail in my ticket and we need to pay our bills, but we are blessed. I am going to try to spend a little more time focusing on that than all the things I didn't get accomplished because Vivi wouldn't let go of my leg or all the clothes she permanently marked. Still, it helps to get a good night's sleep as we try to save the world...doesn't it moms :)
This week was a really crappy week. Part of it was because I'm all hormotional (my word for hormonal and emotional). Partly because Vivi slept really poorly at the beginning of the week because of her stuffy nose (ie 5 hours of sleep one night and 4 hours of sleep the next). Partly because I got a speeding a ticket. Partly because we got Vivi's emergency room visit bill in the mail. Partly because our laptop is pooping out and we a) might need a new one, which we can't afford and b) meant I couldn't get done some of the very necessary things I needed to do (like edit Doug's BYU application essay and finish my work for the work). And partly because Vivi was super clingy, super needy all week, which wore my patience very thin.
At the worst point of the week I was beginning to rethink our decision to become parents. I wasn't feeling well and finally managed to doze off for a nap...when I awoke to find Vivi with Sharpie in hand. She scribbled all over her sheets, our sheets, my duvet cover, and her new shirt. All I wanted to do was just lay there and even that has now been denied me. I was raging. And good moms shouldn't rage, right? I mean, really it's not that big of a deal. And neither is the fact that both times we came home from work this week, Vivi smelled like coffee because she spilled someone's (cold) coffee all over her. But it still psissed me off. And good moms should get pissed, or rage, or scream at their toddlers right? My only conclusion was that I was not cut out to be a mom.
After a good day on Saturday, where I got to take a nap while Doug took Vivi to the park, I began to realize that I was just having a bad week. A really bad week. And moms are allowed to have bad weeks. It was a blessing to realize that Vivi doesn't just have me; she has her loving father (who she adores) to play with, wrestle, and 'put to night night.' I am so lucky.
I hope this week is better than last week. I still need to mail in my ticket and we need to pay our bills, but we are blessed. I am going to try to spend a little more time focusing on that than all the things I didn't get accomplished because Vivi wouldn't let go of my leg or all the clothes she permanently marked. Still, it helps to get a good night's sleep as we try to save the world...doesn't it moms :)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Speeding Ticket
Today I got my first speeding ticket. Ever.
Lame.
We had a wonderful Christmas and, dare I say, even better New Year's weekend. It was great to see family and celebrate everything that's important. This past weekend (New Year's) we went to bed early and slept great...two nights in a row.
Unfortunately, the next two days have been crappy. Sick baby means not very much sleep for me anyway, but it's also very cold in our basement apartment, which means I was more willing to keep her in bed next to me (her blankets rarely stay on her). So, she was cranky, super clingy, I got a ticket, I broke a glass, I am tired, and I am cranky...very short-tempered with her, in fact. In fact, she learned a new word yesterday: cranky.
I too tired to come up with some analogy between my speeding ticket and speeding through life, so I'll leave that up to you. But, there is a lot of stuff going on with Doug applying to grad school, jobs, and more. I've been a little blue despite the beautiful (and cold) weather we've been having...I was actually happy to see the gray clouds today. So, I wrote a little poem about clouds :) (I love writing and may be a closet poet, that's not very good). Here it is:
Today the clouds rolled in
And it was a relief.
They chased away the cold,
Enveloped me with their warmth.
The harsh sunlight was dimmed
And let me see the darker beauty of the garden.
The soft waves of rain soothed my tired mind
Temporarily washing away my inner angst
And welcomed my winter feelings.
Don't laugh, but it made me feel better to be a little creative.
Lame.
We had a wonderful Christmas and, dare I say, even better New Year's weekend. It was great to see family and celebrate everything that's important. This past weekend (New Year's) we went to bed early and slept great...two nights in a row.
Unfortunately, the next two days have been crappy. Sick baby means not very much sleep for me anyway, but it's also very cold in our basement apartment, which means I was more willing to keep her in bed next to me (her blankets rarely stay on her). So, she was cranky, super clingy, I got a ticket, I broke a glass, I am tired, and I am cranky...very short-tempered with her, in fact. In fact, she learned a new word yesterday: cranky.
I too tired to come up with some analogy between my speeding ticket and speeding through life, so I'll leave that up to you. But, there is a lot of stuff going on with Doug applying to grad school, jobs, and more. I've been a little blue despite the beautiful (and cold) weather we've been having...I was actually happy to see the gray clouds today. So, I wrote a little poem about clouds :) (I love writing and may be a closet poet, that's not very good). Here it is:
Today the clouds rolled in
And it was a relief.
They chased away the cold,
Enveloped me with their warmth.
The harsh sunlight was dimmed
And let me see the darker beauty of the garden.
The soft waves of rain soothed my tired mind
Temporarily washing away my inner angst
And welcomed my winter feelings.
Don't laugh, but it made me feel better to be a little creative.
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