For posterity

Yesterday I bore my testimony in church and I had a good friend recommend I write it down and because I can't find my journal right now, here it is (as best as I can remember):

I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who gave me and all his children the gift of the Holy Ghost to guide us through this life. At the prompting of the Holy Ghost and through discussion with Doug and prayer, we decided it was best for our family for me to quit my job, a job that I loved and that I was good at, than to put Vivi in daycare. So now I am (pretty much) a stay at home mom. The blessings we have received since we made this decision tell me it was the right thing to do.

We still have lots of things up in the air and lots of questions: should Doug go back to school? what about jobs? should I get a parttime job? where should we live? should we try buying a house? However, I know that the path will be made clear to us as we need to know it as long as we are doing what we're supposed to. Since I've started staying home I've opportunities to serve friends, family, and mere acquaintances in ways I would not have been able to while I was working 8 hours a day, commuting 2 hours a day, trying to take care of my home, cook food, etc. I've had missionary opportunities that would not have taken place if I was still focused on my work every day. I've felt the spirit more strongly and more consistently recently than I have in the last 4 years. I am studying my scriptures more and reading other books about the gospel (right now it's 'Eve & the Choice Made in the Garden of Eden'), which is allowing me to explore and learn about the gospel. I am able to serve my husband and daughter better by preparing healthier meals for them, which I love learning about and doing.

This is not a testimony about being a stay at home mom. It is a testimony about personal revelation and willingness to do what the Lord wants you to do when He wants you to do. Everyone's circumstances are different, so the key is to do what's right for you and what the Lord wants you to do. The day before church, we went to a baptism and it's wonderful to realize that the spirit that prompted that gentleman to get into the waters of baptism is the same one that whispered to us the next step our family should take. One of the speakers paraphrased a beautiful saying by one of the apostles: 'what the heart knows today, the head will understand tomorrow.'

That is so true. My head is just starting to understand the reasons for our decision. The emotional payoff just between Doug and I has been so positive. I'm silly, goofy, expressive and not so naggy. It's great that we just don't have to be all business every time we see each other because now we are seeing each other more! Vivienne is really responding to not always being on the go and I love watching her grow daily.

Who knows what else the Lord has in store for us, but the steps will be revealed one at a time as we need them.