First Apple Cup & Visit to the ER

So this last weekend we took Vivi to a very cold Pullman for the Apple Cup. I think the average temperature while we were there was 25 degrees. Brrrrr! Vivi and I only stayed through the first half the game and then went to the CUB for the rest of the game (where they did NOT have the game on TV, are you kidding me?). We had a great weekend of spending waaay too much money on Cougar gear...mostly for Vivi.

On Monday, Vivi started throwing up. Uh oh. It actually didn't start out real bad, just normal flu-like stuff. But after she had vomited all her food and dry-heaving, she started vomiting yucky brown-ish stuff. I called the doctor after an hour or so of that, and the nurse said it could be blood and we need to get it tested. We took her to the Children's ER with a sample (she provided more sample on the way and in the ER), and sure enough, it was blood she was throwing up. They had to put an IV in her hand to give her some fluids (she was unsurprisingly dehydrated) and tube down her nose. They put the tube down her nose in order to flush saline into her stomach and then suck it back out. They were doing this to see if there was any more blood and, more importantly, the color of it. If there was bright red blood, that would mean she was actively bleeding. The brownish blood meant it was older. After 4.5 hours of her screaming and begging for juice (we couldn't give her any and I felt so bad), she looked much better with all the fluids and had a good time with the fishies in their fish tank while we waited for her prescriptions.

All in all, I think Doug and I handled the situation really well. I try to make my motto 'Don't panic until there's something to panic about,' and even the nurses noticed ('She's handling this really well...and so are you mom and dad.') They were also impressed with Vivi's strength as she resisted the IV, etc. 'atta girl.

Unfortunately, this week is also the first time we all got sick at the same time. Tuesday Vivi was ok, but I think that was mostly the anti-nausea medication because she didn't eat much. Unfortunately, today Doug and I got sick. Really bad diarrhea and some nausea. Luckily, Vivi is still recovering and needed a couple naps. Even better, Marie was willing to take Vivi for a couple hours so I could take a nap. I don't know what we will do when we don't have Marie and Bill right here. We are so lucky.

It's not all roses

This past week I got a cold. After 2 hours straight of talking on Saturday, that cold turned into a lost voice. No biggie. Kinda funny, actually. Having never lost my voice before, I thought it was funny, anyway. The only time it's a big inconvenience is when I'm trying to yell at Vivienne to put my china tea cup down, etc.

Anyway, not feeling too well, I haven't gotten a whole lot accomplished and frankly don't have the desire to, which doesn't really add to my short-term self-esteem, if you know what I mean. Well, it took another blow tonight the probably addition of a new scar...to my face.

Destination

First of all, a crib update: I took the crib apart and Vivi's mattress is now on the floor (on top of a very soft, fuzzy blanket) surrounded by all her stuffed animal friends. This way I don't have to worry about her getting hurt as she continually crawls out of her crib. It actually is working pretty good. She had been falling asleep in front of the door, but the last couple nights she's stayed in her bed which is encouraging. She loves her 'new' bed; she jumped on it right away, sprints into the room and throws herself on it, and jumps from our bed onto hers. It actually has made her a lot more willing to play by herself in the bedroom, which is great because it makes our house seem a little bigger.

Last week as I had the opportunity to deconstruct a crib by myself, make pumpkin chocolate chip muffins (yum!), and my house stayed relatively clean, I couldn't help but think 'This is how I've wanted it to be; I've arrived.' I realize that it presumptious; my house has since turned into a toy/clothes warzone and there are now dishes in the sink (that will not get done tonight). However, I do believe after 3-4 months of being home, I am just now starting to feel more comfortable and get in a groove. I honestly didn't think it would take this long. I figured it would take me a week to decompress, but after that my house would always be clean and I'd make dinner every night. That hasn't happened exactly, but I have finally learned for myself something that I've been told my whole life: do small clean ups as you go along. I never had the energy to do the dishes right after dinner, but pots really are easier to clean if you don't let them sit overnight! Our bedroom still accumulates quite the mess, but a lot of that has to do with the fact that I can't get in there during the day because Doug is in there sleeping.

Anyway, I don't know if I will ever be one of those women whose house is spotless and everything is always clean. However, I do feel more comfortable with the cleanliness of my home...there's not as much clutter because I've had time to go through some of the piles of stuff. I will keep working towards always having a perfect home, but I've realized that's just not one of my priorities right now. Maybe someday, but until then I will let myself be satisified with the progress I have made :)

Baby Houdini!

Until last week Vivienne managed to climb out of her crib intermittently just a couple times. That was until Friday night. We left poor nana Marie (Doug's grandma who lives upstairs) with the relatively 'simple' task of putting Vivi to bed so we could to the temple...when we got home she said Vivienne spent 1.5 hours crawling out of the crib and Marie had to keep putting her back time after time after time.

I was hoping that was just an anomaly since Saturday night went off without a hitch. Sunday was a completely different story. She was up until 11pm either climbing out of the crib or screaming because we were right there telling her to put her leg back in the crib. Finally, we just strapped her into the swing so we could go to bed. Doug even tried laying down in the dark in front of the door so Vivi tripped over him when she escaped and he scared her...I actually thought that might work, but it didn't. Her crib is in our room, so I decided we'd just lay in bed and keep telling her to lay down so she knew we were there and that resistence was futile. One hour later (that was after the hour of just putting her back in the crib time after time), we got sick of seeing her run back and forth in her crib and scream like a crazy animal and put her in the swing where she slept like...not a baby...until morning. We even tried putting her in the pack and play, which is higher and she looked like she wouldn't be able to get out of for a couple weeks...but no. She was pissed off and got out of there faster than I could walk down the hall to the bathroom.

Baby Houdini.

I'm all about the Love and Logic, so I decided we were getting up early to go to work Monday morning so she would know the consequences of her actions (even if not directly, she'd be super tired). She was exhausted. But that didn't stop her from escaping the crib at grandma and grandpa's house for afternoon nap (our hot water heater broke over the weekend, so I thought I'd shower while she napped-that did not happen). I tried staying in the room with her until she fell asleep, but she knew she had a captive audience and so, even though she was exhausted, put on quite a show for me. I even swatted her butt to get her to lay down, but that didn't work. Instead, when she laid down, she started trying to spank her own butt and looked at me while wriggling her cute little tush in the air like 'I'm laying down, are you gonna spank me? Huh, are ya, are ya?'

Finally, after 45 minutes of that, I left the room and shut the door. She promptly crawled out of the crib and knocked on the door yelling for mama. After about 5 minutes she passed out in front of the door. She only slept for 30 minutes, but that's actually pretty standard for grandma's house.

After much brainstorming with family and friends I've tried a strategy that seems to mostly work. I baby proofed our room (took out the full-length mirror, moved all the books, closed all the drawers, etc.) and just lock her in the room. When she falls alseep, I put her in the crib. It worked like a dream last night, except for the small hiccup that she fell asleep right in front of the door, so I couldn't even open it (her face was taking the brunt of my attempts to open the door until I realized it was her face). She woke up at one point and then I just put her in the crib seamlessly. Tonight went pretty much the same, except we've already had one more wake-up than last night. However, this strategy is a lot less frustrating then putting her back in the crib over and over.

Oh, how I love my baby Houdini. If it weren't so frustrating, I'd be very proud :)

Why I am home

This week I've had a couple fantastic opportunities and more reminders about why Heavenly Father wanted me to stay home. I was able to make dinner for a family that had a medical emergency, drive a friend around who was trying to help another friend find her son (who got lost in an early-release mix up), and make grammy and grampy's day playing with them for a couple hours. All things I would've been unable to do if I still worked full time.

I was thanked for helping these families, but no thanks was needed. This is the reason (in addition to taking better care of my own family) I know Heavenly Father wanted me to only work part-time. I am so thankful for the personal revelation that has given me these opportunities and blessings.

Perfect Day

Yesterday was such a great day and, dare I say, a perfect day. And I don't mean perfect perfect as in some minor things didn't go wrong, but it was exactly the kind of day I hoped to have when I started staying home more.

Normally, I go to work on Mondays, but that didn't happen this week. Doug doesn't go to work until 10pm, so it was like we had a long weekend together! Vivienne let us sleep (with much kicking and rolling around) until about 9am. We got up and ate breakfast together, which never happens. We've been having beautiful sunny (but cold) weather, so the three of us went outside and played (kicking and throwing the soccer balls, of course). Vivi and Doug took a 1.5 hour nap right as scheduled (after we ate lunch together), so I got lots of work done. In fact, I got my day's work done by 5pm, which left the evening open to work on other things. Dinner was yummy and easy and the kitchen was cleaned up right after. Vivi and I played while Doug took another nap and then went to sleep without at hitch at 7:30pm.

Like I said: perfect. I know there's nothing glamorous or dazzling about this day, but it was incredible to have some time where none of us felt any kind of stress, pushing, pulling, etc. and just got to have fun together. Not only that, but Doug voluntarily did things like just wipe down the counter and take out the garbage/recycles with Vivi (he calls that 'going on a field trip' with her). Not only that, but Vivienne was a peach almost the whole day! Oh, and she pooped in the potty! I couldn't believe it, but I put her on the potty after her nap and she pooped! I was so excited!

Doug and I spent so much time apart our whole married lives that I really cherish days when we can just focus on family. With our crazy schedules, me commuting 2 hours every day, Doug being in school, etc. we would go days without seeing eachother. While staying home has been tough on the pocketbook sometimes, it's been soothing for the heart. Vivienne loves seeing her papa, I love seeing her papa more, and it's been so good for our marriage just to be around eachother more. Many times when we saw eachother, it was all business because that's what we had time for. Now, we actually get to goof around, relax, and just be us. It really is a testiment to the fact the Heavenly Father does want what's best for us and he'll let us know which way to go if we ask...and then listen and obey.

Anyway,

She's so smart

I find myself being very careful about the things I do and say...usually after I realize she saw me do something I wouldn't want her to do. I'm pretty sure one of the reasons she throws her food is because she sees me throw things into the garbage. One day she came over and hit me after she saw Doug smack my butt. It's a fine line :)

She's got about 20+ words, including: cheese, please, shoes, teeth, nana, grandma, grandpa, bummer (our warning word of choice), bye bye (which she says over and over as we're leaving), hello (not hi), juice, book, ball, and boobs (when she wants to nurse as mentioned in my previous post...that's one of those things we should've been more careful about saying around her).

She can now also properly point to and identify all facial features, including ears! She can definitely understand more than she can say, which is frustrating for everyone. But I am happy when she understands (and does) put things back when I ask her to, to take something to papa (Doug), and puts something in the garbage for me (that SUPPOSED to go in the garbage). She put of her small toys in the garbage today and I couldn't find it without digging through everything so I just left it. Unfortunately I wasn't so lucky when she threw her sippy cup in the garbage yesterday. Gross.

She peed on the potty 5 of the last 7 days, which is great. I wouldn't say we are training right now, but I'm trying to get her comfortable with being on the potty and show her how exciting it is to do her business on the toilet. I will continue to put her on the potty when she wakes up for the morning and naps for a while longer until she shows me (I don't know how exactly) that she's ready for the next step. I would love to have her completely trained before she's two. Wishful thinking?

It's Potty Time!

Last weekend I went to the always super fabulous Seattle Families of Multiples sale and I got a ton of stuff, including some super awesome clothes, toy kitchen, and potties for potty training. I couldn't wait to try them out on Vivi and so far she's doing great!

I put her on the potty first thing when we get up in the morning and from naps and before bed. The last 4 days she's gone 'pee pee on the potty' at least 2 of the three times! It's very exciting and I try to get her very excited about it. I wouldn't say we're doing intensive training (she's not even 18 months yet), but I'm just getting her used to being on the potty and saying the words. Plus, she tries to wipe her own butt. How cute is that?

Last night was also the first night she climbed out of her crib. I know it's inevitable, but really? I heard the soft 'thump' as she either hit the floor or the bed and out she walked from the bedroom. It's a little concerning because we don't have enough space to move her anywhere else and I really don't want her crawling into bed with me whenever she wants 'boobs' (yes, she says boobs-we only nurse in the middle of the night because I need to sleep!).

Exciting stuff all around!

From Peanuts to People

A lot has happened since my last post, including a trip to Utah that was great, but that's not what this post is about.

I always wondered how parents could get so excited about their child's stumbling steps, their toddlers first attempt to kick or throw a ball to dad (or mom!), their young child's first soccer game, the tedious balley recitals, etc. Now that I am one of those parents, I think I understand why.

I think that reason is the same reason I got all excited when I found my nephew is getting baptized this weekend. Undoubtedly I am more excited to see him and watch him reach this important milestone than he is to see me (I can already see/hear is polite but subued 'Hi Aunt Vanessa' with the possibility of one-arm side hug). Why am I more excited to see him than he is to see me (his super awesome, fun aunt)?! The same reason I get excited when Vivienne climbs up and down the stairs or gets down from the bed on her own.

I remember when Ian was born. And of course I remember when Vivienne was there. I remember before they were here and then one day, poof! New miniature people here on this Earth who weren't here the day before. I remember when Vivienne couldn't do anything. She was just a blob and I couldn't wait for her to smile, laugh, feed herself, etc. Now I can't get her to hold still (even when she's sleeping), she gets her food all over the place, and she has no fear and serious sense of adventure.

That is why parents get so excited about those seemingly 'normal' things and why aunties and uncles are more excited to see their nieces and nephews than the other way around. We remember when they weren't here and we're so grateful they are. We remember when they couldn't walk, but now they're playing soccer. We remember when we panicked about solid foods, but now we're so proud when they eat their vegetables.

With this new realization, I can only wonder more how Heavenly Father feels about us, but know that He loves us more than we know.

Puddles and Prayers

This week the weather has not been that great; pretty indicative of the whole summer, actually. A couple days ago Vivi and I went to check the mail when there was a light rain and I could barely get that girl back inside! There weren't any big puddles, but whereever there was any amount of water gather she'd run over and stick her hands, feet, and sometimes her ponytails in it! She loved running around and stomping in the water so she could her the 'smack, smack, smack' of her shoes (ok, sandals because I didn't think we'd be out there that long, but at least it was pretty warm) on wet pavement. She had a blast! When we got inside her pants were soaked up to her ankles, but it was so much fun. I'm lucky to have a girl that doesn't mind getting dirty...even if it bugs her mom.

Last night the we had the sweetest experience as a family. At dinner time, Doug and I each took one of Vivi's hands to say the prayer before dinner. And she actually held our hands (before she just ripped them away). Progress! Then before bed we all sat down in our big leather chair for stories and afterward I said 'Time for prayer.' Right away, she reached for Doug's hand and then turned around and reached for my hand so we could hold hands again! Progress progress! I couldn't believe it. I actually got a little choked up and had trouble starting the prayer.

After the prayer, it was time for bed. We've been working on our kisses (she doesn't really like to get or give kisses) so we took this as an opportunity to practice. At first she was a reluctant, but when I demonstrated on Doug, she leaned forward and let Doug kiss her lips. Then it was mommy's turn and she did the same. It easily turned into a game where she just went back and forth getting kisses from mommy and papa. At one point with me, she actually pursed her lips. So cute. I did have to play defense a couple times when she got too overzealous and started biting my lip, but mostly it was all love.

We need to have evenings like that more often...

The family that smells each others armpits...

This morning I went to work and Vivi stayed home with Doug. I realized part way through the morning that I forgot to put deoderant on (you know how it is when you get out of routine, right?). Sorry all the folks at the Y, but I don't think it got too bad. Anyway, when I got home, Vivi and Doug had been playing all morning and when I went to give Doug a hug, he said "uh, I haven't showered yet today."

"I can't smell you, I don't care. Give me a hug," I said.

"Are you sure? Smell me," he said.

So he lifted his arm and I did. Honestly, not an uncommon sight in our house. I did what any good wife does, and stuck my nose in his armpit. Honestly, honestly: the only reason I do it at all is because he rarely smells bad to me.

Anyway, so I said I wanted a hug and he said something like "well, you forgot to put deoderant on today, so maybe I don't want to hug you." So what did I say?

"Smell me..." I said as I lifted my arm. Apparently, he did understand the reciprocal nature of this deal, but he refused nonetheless.

All of this occurred as I'm holding Vivi. We both laughed and not wanting to leave Vivi out, I said to her "Your turn!"

And what did she do?! She lifted up her arm so Doug could stick his nose in her armpit. She smelled like a rose of course :) Doug and I both cracked up. So I concluded that the family that smells eachothers armpits stays together!

This past weekend we took Vivi to Pullman for her first Cougs game in Martin Stadium. We had a ton of fun as you can see from the pics! She's definitely a future Coug!

Triumph and Tragedy

Ok, maybe that title is a little dramatic.

Triumph: Yesterday Vivi officially found her eyes! She was playing with her stuffed lion (which is still a 'kitty') and I asked her where the kitty's eyes were...and she pointed to its eyes! Then I asked her where her eyes were and she pointed to her eyes! Wanting to push my luck, I took off my glasses (she's prolific glasses grabber) and asked her where mommy's eyes were...she pointed to the glasses in my hand :) She's so smart.

Another triumph was that she woke up just jibber-jabbering away. She woke me up with her usual 'Hi-yo' (hello) and when she knew she had my attention she literally said 'jibber jabba jibba gibba jabba...etc.' for about 30 seconds. She let me ask her questions and then she answered with more jibber-jabba, it was the funniest thing. I'm glad she's talkative and I know she knows exactly what I'm saying most of the time. Sometimes she can definitely express what she wants or doesn't want, but we will both be so much better off when she can TELL me what's going on.

Tragedy: One of my goals in staying home was to cook more non-ready-to-eat-meals (as found in your frozen food section, etc) for health and financial reasons. I'm happy to report that I think we are eating healthier as evidenced by the fact that both Doug and I have lost weight and I rarely make frozen meals. However, yesterday I went through our family ledger and added up our grocery bill and it wasn't any lower than it had been previously. Which sucks. I was really hoping I was saving my family money by not buying certain things, but it doesn't look like it. I knew I could do a better job, but I thought I was doing a better job than that.

After I got over the initial disappointment, I realized I need to make some changes. And I also need to ask for help from people who know better than me how to feed a family on a budget. Any ideas?

The things we forget

I'm trying to do a better job of documenting the things Vivienne does more commonly that I may forget down the road because we just take them for granted. For example: Vivi tries to scare people. Really. She yells "Baaahhh!" and gets her hands out and it's a full body convulsion. She loves doing it! Most people either react by pretending they're scared or scaring her back, which usually just makes her yell "Baaaaahhhh!" louder and getting her body even more into it. I need to get that on video.

And she loves books! As you can see from the picture. She says 'Book' (it's a pretty soft 'k') and will bring one to us and then sit herself on our lap (she MUST sit on our laps our there will be issues). She's really good about flipping through them herself. I hope this is a habit we can continue to encourage...although, I don't know if we will have room on our bookshelf for it; she already has her own section of the book shelf!

She loves to dance! We just discovered last week that you can make her start dancing just by saying the word 'dance' or 'dancing;' it's hilarious. She rocks back and forth, will twirl in circles, claps her hands, etc. But her signature move is to put her 'hands in the ayaa (air) like she don't caya (care)'! She'll do that in the car if a song comes on the radio that she likes. A song will come on and see her little hand pop up in my rear-view mirror. We just put her in a foward facing car seat this weekend and now I'm a little worried I'll be busy watching her dance when I should be watching the road.

She doesn't like giving kissies and she's good for the occasional hug, which is funny because she gets hugged so much. Now that I think about it, maybe she thinks she gets hugged, too much :)

She LOVES swimming. On Friday we went swimming with Janetta and Miles and Audrey her boys. She swam the whole hour at the MLT Rec Pavilion! It was amazing. I put a floaty noodle under her chest and kinda supported her legs and she just floated around the pool! She walked into water up to her chest without blinking, fell in face first a couple times without crying, walked, crawled, and jumped into the water! The other really cool thing is that, using an infant lifejacket with a head support, she floated around the lazy river on her back and had so much fun! She such a water baby and I bet she can swim by the time she's two. You can hold me to that. :)

Hello, Bye Bye

Vivienne has the cutest habit of saying "Hello" when she wakes up for the day (if she's not ready to get up for the day and just wants to nurse, she just cries). Earlier this week when I laid her down for bed, she looked at me and said "Bye bye" before sticking her thumb in her mouth, rolling over, and going to sleep without a peep. It was so sweet.

This week she also discovered our butt cracks. Doug told me that she stuck her finger in his butt crack when it popped out as he bent over; I thought that was pretty funny. The next day, my pants must have been sitting a little low as I packed her diaper bag because she came and did the same thing to me! Not only that, but after I pulled up my pants, she started pulling them down so she could point at my crack again! Hilarious.

She's really good at saying "Hello" to anyone and everyone, especially in the grocery store. Most of the time people are really nice and say "Hello" back, but I have to admit I get kind of upset when she tries over and over to say Hello to someone and they either don't hear her or don't respond. I'm just want to say "Hey, she's saying hi to you and she's new at this, so could you please indulge her!" Anyway, Vivienne always makes friends wherever she goes...people love her.

I've started reading a Love and Logic book, which I love, but I'm not sure I'll be good at. It requires parents to not show anger, but empathy. I think I'm pretty patient...to a point. As any parent knows, there's a point where you just start screaming at or with your child. Our situation is made even more difficult because Vivienne doesn't have her room that I can 'send' her to for discipline, that Doug is usually sleeping in our room during key times, and her age. A lot of the concepts are too old for her and the ones that aren't, I can't really implement because of our living situation...and I'm kind of a pushover :)

A day off

Yesterday afternoon I left Vivienne with Doug while I spent the evening instructing a soccer referee clinic in Mount Vernon (about 1 hour North); the clinic continued through Saturday, so I stayed the night at my parents in MV. This meant I got a night and day away from Vivienne! I love my daughter very much, but it sure was nice to get a good night's sleep and sleep in until 7:45am! Today I taught at the clinic all day, went to a youth football jamboree where I watched my niece as a cheerleader, and went to a girls' night at my sister's house for a while.

So this is what it's like to have a life! Ever since I started working full-time at the YMCA, I don't think I've had a 'life.' My work hours were often-times long and almost always in the afternoon, evening, and weekend, which meant I missed most social opportunities. Not to mention the hour-long commute just wiped me out most days.

I will say that I think Vivienne actually improved my socializing opportunities because of all the 'play dates' we did with other kids/moms and now that I'm home more, my schedule is much more flexible (although I'm still exhausted most of the time). However, it's still limiting. The last 1.5 days it was nice to not have to worry about whether it was approaching nap time, whether I brough enough snacks, 'oh crap, she just pooped,' etc.

I'd like to say I missed Vivienne so much that when I got home, my heart melted and I cried when I saw her. But that's just not true. It was only 1.5 days and I know I'll get the opportunity to re-introduce myself later tonight...probably around 2:30am.

Busy, busy

Vivienne is getting to be so much! Today she got into cabinet, pulled out the pots and pans, crawled inside, and shut the door on herself. She thought it was so much fun when I yelled "Vivienne, where are you?" so we did that for about 10 minutes. So cute.

Yesterday wasn't so fun, though. She was one sick baby Sunday night and Monday morning. She was hot and sweaty, threw up all over Doug, was so lathargic, and wouldn't eat/drink anything until the mid afternoon. It was actually scary, but by mid-afternoon she started to become more of herself. We're thinking she either got dehydrated, got too much sun, or swallowed too much yucky lake water when we were at the beach for the a couple hours on Sunday with some friends.

I have been so busy keeping up with my 16 hours a week doing the marketing for the Y, keeping up with Vivienne, cooking healthier meals, keeping our place relatively tidy, doing what needs to be done for a new web site (more on that later), and more. I just wish Vivi would sleep through the night!

Terrible two's!

Ok, so she's only 15 months, but this has to be the terrible twos or an ear infection or some serious teething. This past week or so she has not been a whole lot of fun to be around. Not just fussy, but also mean (ok, as mean as a 15 month old can get). She thinks slapping me is fun, she won't let me out of her sight, she cries when she wants sympathy/attention (and then she won't let go of my legs), freaks out when she doesn't get what she wants, and has half her butt hanging out most of the time because she's wriggling all over the place (screaming) when I try to change her diapers. We are going to the doctor tomorrow and I hope they tell me it's an ear infection or something because I'm about to go midevil on this kid.

I did actually put her in momentary timeout today. It kinda worked. She was having a melt down for no reason so I put her against the wall and told her she was going to stay there until she calmed down. It only took a minute or two for her to stop and then start looking around for something to do. That's all I wanted her to do, so I let her go. Granted I had to put her back in timeout 3 minutes later for another meltdown, but the result was the same. So, I would consider that a success!

Unfortunately, our shopping trip to Goodwill was not as successful. She pulled down a box filled with Rice Crispie treats at the checkoutlines (don't store managers know they are creating hell when they put the candy and stuff there where we just have stand there and wait in line?). Luckily, a nice lady helped me put them back (I have a feeling it was more because she felt like she'd look like a jerk if she didn't than because she wanted to...which she should totally would've).

I'm really enjoying taking the time to plan and make meals for my family. Not all of them are really healthy. Doug likes a lot of cheese and got me a recipe book where every recipe has bacon in it (hey, it got him to eat a broccoli salad), but they are still healthier than the frozen/prepared meals we used to buy at Costco. I think all of us, including, Vivienne are enjoying the variety of meals I prepare. For a couple weeks now she hasn't been eating very much, but it's slowly gotten better the last couple days. I still hate cleaning up, but it's not as big of an ordeal because I have more time to do it (ie if I don't get it done right after dinner, I know I can do it after breakfast).

One thing is for sure in all this: we are getting closer as a family and my baby is definitely a stubborn little girl now :)

For posterity

Yesterday I bore my testimony in church and I had a good friend recommend I write it down and because I can't find my journal right now, here it is (as best as I can remember):

I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who gave me and all his children the gift of the Holy Ghost to guide us through this life. At the prompting of the Holy Ghost and through discussion with Doug and prayer, we decided it was best for our family for me to quit my job, a job that I loved and that I was good at, than to put Vivi in daycare. So now I am (pretty much) a stay at home mom. The blessings we have received since we made this decision tell me it was the right thing to do.

We still have lots of things up in the air and lots of questions: should Doug go back to school? what about jobs? should I get a parttime job? where should we live? should we try buying a house? However, I know that the path will be made clear to us as we need to know it as long as we are doing what we're supposed to. Since I've started staying home I've opportunities to serve friends, family, and mere acquaintances in ways I would not have been able to while I was working 8 hours a day, commuting 2 hours a day, trying to take care of my home, cook food, etc. I've had missionary opportunities that would not have taken place if I was still focused on my work every day. I've felt the spirit more strongly and more consistently recently than I have in the last 4 years. I am studying my scriptures more and reading other books about the gospel (right now it's 'Eve & the Choice Made in the Garden of Eden'), which is allowing me to explore and learn about the gospel. I am able to serve my husband and daughter better by preparing healthier meals for them, which I love learning about and doing.

This is not a testimony about being a stay at home mom. It is a testimony about personal revelation and willingness to do what the Lord wants you to do when He wants you to do. Everyone's circumstances are different, so the key is to do what's right for you and what the Lord wants you to do. The day before church, we went to a baptism and it's wonderful to realize that the spirit that prompted that gentleman to get into the waters of baptism is the same one that whispered to us the next step our family should take. One of the speakers paraphrased a beautiful saying by one of the apostles: 'what the heart knows today, the head will understand tomorrow.'

That is so true. My head is just starting to understand the reasons for our decision. The emotional payoff just between Doug and I has been so positive. I'm silly, goofy, expressive and not so naggy. It's great that we just don't have to be all business every time we see each other because now we are seeing each other more! Vivienne is really responding to not always being on the go and I love watching her grow daily.

Who knows what else the Lord has in store for us, but the steps will be revealed one at a time as we need them.

Crazy, crazy

I haven't been as good about writing lately because I've been sooo busy! Doug's little cousins and aunt and uncle were in town all last week and it was so much fun to be with them. Vivienne LOVED playing with all the kids, especially their 12 year old boy named Bowie, whom she affectionately called 'Bo Bo.'

The weekend they got here we had a family reunion up at the Ranch, which is some property with cabins Doug's grandma owns in Day Creek. It was all fun (Vivi showed off her dancing moves and hogged the mic at kareoke), but the most meaningful moment came when we all got together in front of the Hayes Hideaway cabin, which has been the family cabin for more than 40 years. By the end of the summer, that property will be sold and the cabins torn down. I was sad at the thought of that even though I've only been up there a couple times.

As I thought about it, though, I realized that's just part of the plan. Marie and Ken bought that property as a place for their posterity to go, but also as an investment. After many years of enjoyment, the time has come for the plan to come full-circle. There's nothing wrong with that. But now, I think, it's time for the next generation for parents and future grandparents (myself included) to do something similar. Maybe not by 120 acres of wilderness, but create our own traditions for our own posterity. Nothing lasts forever and so I cannot be disappointed when it ends, but I can forever relish the memories of what we created.

Now I just have to figure out what that is...

Day at the Beach

So, last week we went to the beach... twice! It was pretty fun. But the funniest part was when we got out of the water at Magnuson Park. Vivi was getting fussy and I figured it was time to go, but as soon as I got her changed into some dry clothes, she was perfectly content just laying there on the blanket, watching the ducks swim by and the people walk past. She even had some company on her beach blanket when Miles laid down, too (Vivi immediately tackled him).

My first week at home was a success. I had a couple failed meals (asparagus bake=fail, but probably because I don't like asparagus) and meltdown at the women's Sounders game we went to, but all in all I think we're all on our way to eating cheaper and healthier, Vivi is loving getting out and about, and I'm enjoying attempting to get my house in order a little bit at a time. I'm also starting to read more! My first book: "Eve and the Choice made in Eden: because I'm trying to make up for spiritual upliftment I miss out on in church, etc. with Vivi and being in nursery.

I had a moment where it all hit me on Friday: I love being home...so far. There are times I don't like it and I think the paramount issue right now is getting Vivi to not be so clingy; if I'm in the same room and she's not right next to me, she will stop what she's doing and move to be right next to me (or on me). If I'm in the other room, she pulls herself away from whatever she's doing (even if it's the only few minutes of Baby Einstein I let her watch per day--only about 10 per day as I do her hair and cut her nails), cry, and come get me. What's a mom to do?!

Cleaner?

Ok, so I planned on having my whole house completely cleaned by the end of stay-home day two...but I'm not even close. My front room still looks like a hurricane hit it (we call her Hurricane Vivi), there are still dishes in the sink, and the laundry is folded but not put away.

Maybe I'm trying to pack too much fun and sun into the day, but some of this is the result of logistics: we live in a one-bedroom apartment and my husband work weird hours, so it's hard to find a time to put the laundry away. Often, Vivi takes naps in her swing, which is in the kitchen, so I can't clean up when she's in there.

Vivi also needs work on entertaining herself so I can get stuff done. However, I have trouble leaving her alone even for a minute. If she's in the front room, I feel like I need to be in there to keep an eye on her...even though the stuff I need to do is in the bedroom. Is there an age or development milestone where I should feel comfortable not having my eyes on her all the time at home? I mean, she does put EVERYTHING in her mouth...ideas?

Naps

Ok, so day one went pretty good with the help of some awesome weather and Vivienne's on-again, off-again boyfriend Miles (until he tried to push off a hug that lasted to long and Vivi hit her head on the curb...she's too friendly, maybe that'll teach her :) at the beach.

I wonder about her 5pm nap. Do other kids take 5pm naps? If we are home, Vivienne will take a morning nap (usually around 9:30am), afternoon nap (1pm-ish), and then again around 5pm! I've tried to get her away from this 5pm nap, but she really needs it; as in she falls asleep in the car if we're driving anywhere, won't eat dinner until after the nap, etc. Even with this nap she still goes to bed around 7:30pm or so. The only nap I think I could phase her out of is the morning one, but we'd have to be out doing something really entertaining for her not to meltdown. Each of these naps is usually about an hour (1.5 hours max, normally). I figured if I got rid of one of the naps (ie the evening one) she would sleep better at night and take longer naps during the day. Is it worth it or should I just let her determine her own schedule? It'd be nice to have a couple hours at a time to do me stuff...

The start to a new life!

Tomorrow is the beginning of my new life as a stay-at home mom (well, I'll still be working out of the home 1 day a week). Being at home and doing home-y (not homie) things is not my forte, so I am not quite sure how to go about doing this. I can't cook, I can't sew, I can't bake, I'm not a cleaning freak, I'm not artsy crafty...I don't know what to do with my 14 month old!

The reason we made the decision for me to stay home with Vivienne because she needs her mom at home with her, but, unfortunately for Vivi, her mom is not sure what to do with her all day, every day.

I did learn a thing or two in my years of directing and managing and one of those things is prioritizing. The first order of business for this newly home-bodied mum and baby is to establish a routine! I was so fortunate to bring Vivi to work with me the last year. However, my varying work hours meant Vivi's nap times, meal times, and bed times are all over the place! Sometimes she takes 1 nap a day, sometimes she takes 3 naps a day (it all depends on what we're doing that day). Her routine consisted of 2 hours of commuting, play time in the pool, running around the front desk, and playing with all the staff at the YMCA.

This constant entertainment and lack of routine also meant she hasn't really learned to entertain herself. She always wants to be held, played with, and (at minimum) watched all the time. This also needs to be remedied. I think if we can get into a good routine at home, some of this will fix itself, but I'm not exactly sure what a good routine for a 14 month old is. Any ideas? Do I put her down for a nap any time she's tired or keep her awake for an established nap time? Should we play at home in the morning and do fun things (like go to the beach) in the afternoon? Does any of it matter? Advice from all experienced mums is welcome...and needed!

Part of the conversation

Yesterday I worked a full day while Doug stayed home with Vivienne. While I miss her, it's a great opporutnity for me to do the work I can't do when I have her with me. Including, spending more time chatting it up with people. There were several times I had the opportunity to do missionary work just by putting it out there that I was member of the church. It was great!

It was picture day and the photographer's wife used to be a member of the church, which we discovered several months ago when they were taking my pregnancy pictures. Yesterday, she just started talking to me about how she'd run into some of her old Young Women and about how she'd had the calling of Scout mom for a long time. It was great to talk to her about it and I was happy to talk to her about it all because I felt like it was probably stuff she hadn't talked about in a long time.

A little while later, there were some parents standing near by talking about a Mormon they knew and 'all the kids' they had. I really believe in letting people know Mormons are part of the conversation in the story they tell about us, so I just jumped right in and said 'I only have one kid,' with a laugh. They looked at me and asked if I was Mormon, which I confirmed and then we just talked about kids and how many I should have. It was a fun, light conversation, but my point was to let them know that I'm LDS, you never know who is LDS, and we are part of the conversation!

After these two experiences, I was feeling pretty good about myself. So, when I had the opportunity to drive my niece to the hospital to visit my sister (complications with an appendectomy) I made her listen to Come, Come Ye Saints and tried to explain a little bit about what the song meant and who the pioneers were. Granted, she only listened to it because I told her we'd listen to the radio when the song was over, but she did ask 'What does 'all is well' mean?'

I'm not very good at talking to people about the gospel, so I'm trying to better at just letting them know I'm a member of the church and Mormons aren't as obscure as many think.

Lights!

On New Year's Day we went to the Bellevue Botanical Garden where they have a light show in the garden with the Boones! It was beautiful and creative and super fun. The weather was less than ideal, but we hardly noticed the rain as we walked under lit grapevines, through the jungle of lights (where we saw a light monkey and alligator), and past the pond of lights with a light waterfall, geese, and lilly pads.

Vivienne was entranced by the lights and didn't hardly fuss (until we got back to the car); I think her favorite was the underwater scene with the jelly fish and bubbles. The attention to detail was the amazing and the flowers were gorgeous. Then we went to a fine dining restaurant (Applebees) where both couples tried to keep there children happy. Miles seemed happiest when he was throwing something and Vivienne was only happy when she had something in her mouth (including the fake berries that got paint all over because of her slobber). We had a great time; thanks to the Boones for inviting us!